


Life in the Vivid Dream

by consensualmindcontrol (occultdeck)



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, Puppet cloud flavor so good, cloud is...depwessed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-26 18:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21378661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/occultdeck/pseuds/consensualmindcontrol
Summary: Two years after Sephiroth’s return, Cloud is returning to something of a normal life. Still, he finds his dreams and reality blending together with one common factor that continues to haunt him.
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Kudos: 19





	1. Chapter 1

Two years after Sephiroth's remnant-fueled return, a tired Cloud Strife of twenty-three lay in his bed after another day of working his delivery service.

Living a life this gray and lifeless was a form of atonement, he'd like to think. But it wasn't so - it was less him reflecting, and more punishing himself for what he could've done better, for the many circumstances out of his control. 

"You've come a long way, Spike," Barret would say to him, accompanied by a genuine smile from Tifa that said "hey, I helped!"

...Maybe. Maybe, he thought. Tifa was strong. She didn't get it - well, maybe she did, or at least tried to. She took all of her cuts and burns and pain and tightened her bootstraps and kept going. Always stomping ahead, angry, kicking full of life. What was that like? Cloud laughed to himself.

Holding a job, making money, having the ability to eat, drink, do dishes, basic hygiene... is that all they really wanted from him? Sure, that's better than nothing, but he certainly wasn't happy, nor living a life that was satisfying. 

Is this what recovery is? Being able to get out of bed? Living through a long day and coming home to green tinted nightmares of everyone he had failed, and everyone that he will fail...

Jenova, Hojo, Aerith, Zack, Tifa, and...

Sephiroth. 

Sephiroth. The name had a special ring that never quite left him. It made him tilt his head a bit, made him feel a bit less in control...a dizzying feeling in his mind. Even without his continued influence, it was his special remnant of the past, one of the only things that he felt particularly strongly. He knew it was a bad idea to hold onto it, but when it’s so hard to feel, truly, where is the harm? It was a simple enough secret to keep, really.

Sometimes, it didn't really feel like he was gone, but when it did, it hit hard. Was he gone, though? Really? He felt like Sephiroth would turn up at his window, and put his sword clean through him once again. It would be so easy. He caught himself looking at the window so often, just gazing out of it...thinking of nothing, but hoping for everything.

Most people thought Cloud was a practical, gloomy person upon first glance, but Tifa knew the truth - he was always fantasizing about something when he had some downtime. She saw that look that he had, and would either sigh good-naturedly (?) at him or try to snap him out of it if a situation required his attention.

Still, though, his thoughts wandered to Sephiroth almost constantly. He’d like to think it was his cells drawing him in that direction - that it was a force outside of his control - but was it, really? The fear, dread, and excitement that came with the notion of his potential return filled his veins all too often, but it kept him going. He would never tell anyone that, much less think that very thought while sober.

He sighed and turned over in bed.  _ I suppose it’s going to be one of those nights if I’m already having thoughts like these. _ His bed was a plush queen-size, obviously meant for two people, even though he only truly shared it with Vincent and Nanaki a few times a year when they visited. The bed smelled like himself and while rolling around in its generous space made him feel comfortable, it was lonely.

He wasn’t really one to desire romance with someone new, wishing someone was there with him… Cloud was… popular, sure, he was cool and attractive to most, and well-known. People liked a brooding man! Still, the image of a handsome hero is different from getting to know a traumatized man plagued by… most of his life.

It was a pain to meet people. He didn’t want to meet people, get to know them, do whatever, but maybe it wasn’t terrible to take advantage of his popularity for casual sex on the occasion that he felt particularly social.

Any long-term intimacy was a waste, especially because nobody, new or old, could possibly get him - understand who he really is, what he needed, how dark and twisted his heart was. Not like Sephiroth, because nothing could ever compare.

...

Hm.

It was darker in Cloud’s room than he remembered it being. He thought he had gotten home at… six, or so? He reached his arm back to sit himself up and felt something unusual in his bed, foreign and silk. With two fingers, he picked it up. A...quill? A feather. Hard to really make out the color, but it definitely wasn’t white. 

…

Black. A shade so dark that you could barely see it. Cloud laughed to himself. Maybe it was intentional. Sephiroth, you bastard, he chuckled.

He rubbed the feather between his fingers to feel its texture and some unknown substance rubbed into his fingers. It wasn’t sticky, but tacky, and almost dry. He rubbed it between his thumb and index until it dried before moving his face closer to it. Iron, huh? He flicked the light on and it was as expected. Definitely blood.

Cloud looked out his window and smiled. I knew you would come for me, he thinks to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Cloud...felt himself getting dizzy again, but he didn’t expect to be sleeping anytime soon. He felt excited, like he was losing control of himself again. Sephiroth was here, and he was going to… he was going to.. what, exactly? Attack Cloud? Antagonize him? Kiss him? His mind went down the list, brimming with possibilities.

_ Ha.  _

__

Oh? Oh… Oh? That voice… inside Cloud’s mind reverberated strongly, sending a throb through his head. 

__

_ You really do provide endless entertainment, don’t you? _

__

“Sephiroth!?” Cloud drew his sword and whipped his body around, spinning in circles looking to every corner of his room to try to find him. But there was simply nothing there.

__

_ Ha. You know I’m always with you, Cloud. How could you forget? _

__

“Coward… you’re hiding… get out here!”

__

_ Heh… fool.  _

__

And then silence.

__

The yellow light of the room was blinding, and Cloud kept looking, and looking, to find nothing again. He felt like a cornered rat, but nothing was chasing him. He stood in front of his bed, sweating, trembling with anxiety and excitement. Sephiroth is here. Sephiroth is here. He’s here for me. He stepped back and fell onto the bed. He… he’s here.

__

At long last, after all this waiting… He put his knee up on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe sweatpants and a t-shirt aren’t ideal fighting gear, but he wasn’t prepared - he didn’t expect this. All this dreaming, and… 

__

It finally came to fruition. 

__

He hugged his knees and sat up. 

__

__

And. 

__

Hm. 

__

__

Definitely wasn’t there before. He was definitely hard, his dick pressing against his torso. Embarrassing. He wondered if Sephiroth could see him. He hoped not. 

__

Was he here? There was no way to tell. No ominous laughter or feathers to be had in his room at all. Cloud swung his door open and dashed out of his room, looking all around, dripping sweat, feeling weak in the knees, but ready to fight, strong enough to fight at any time.

__

“I’m too old to be playing hide and seek with you, you know,” Cloud said, to Sephiroth, but in truth, there was nobody to hear his words.

__

Thank god nobody could see Cloud running around the house in his sweats late into the night with a raging boner.

__

Cloud searched several rooms of the house to find nothing. But he could be in Tifa’s room! Is he trying to seek revenge…? He didn’t know why he had returned again, after all. God forbid he wasn’t here to have a makeout session or something, Cloud thought, rolling his eyes.

__

“Tifa!”

__

Tifa’s room was dark, but when Cloud burst into her room, not knowing if she was even there, yelling, Buster Sword in hand, she was on her feet in an instant.

__

“Cloud!? What is it!?”

__

“Tifa! I… you’re not in danger?”

__

“...I was sleeping, Cloud. What’s gotten into you?” She touched a hand to his shoulder.

__

“...I… thought you were going to be attacked.” Cloud said, with nothing to show for it. He looked down, slightly embarrassed.

__

“By who, Cloud? Is someone after us?!”

__

“Uh...maybe? I can’t say.”

__

Silence, again.

__

“Oh, Cloud… I appreciate you trying to protect me, but I’m fine!” She flexed her arm. “Now, you need to relax. You’re all sweaty. Are you really okay…?”

__

Cloud nodded, still looking down. “...Yeah. I’m good. Thanks.” He brushed her other hand off of his shoulder and left her bedroom.

__

Tifa opened her mouth to say something, but realized it was futile as he was already gone.

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! let me know if you liked it :D
> 
> when i was writing this chapter, no reason boner kept playing in my head.. I WONDER WHY THAT IS.

**Author's Note:**

> truly, I feel like ignis being like ahve cahm up with a new recipeh when I have a new fic idea
> 
> I wrote most of this on a plane i hope it’s good
> 
> it's kind of difficult to feel motivated to write sefikura because it's all been done before...so even if it's trite, i hope you can find some joy in it! <3


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